Did I Offend You? on tumblr

i (582)

ecards
The only thing I plan to accomplish at work today is to turn a gallon of coffee into a gallon of piss    HTML BB Direct Link Share
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I love you more than Chinese restaurants love cats
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I hear you think your shit doesn't stink?
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I don't need anger management classes, You need shut the fuck up classes
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I will enroll in anger management classes when you enroll in shut the fuck up classes
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Sometimes I drink water to surprise my liver
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I look at people sometimes and think... Really? That's the sperm that won?    HTML BB Direct Link Share
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I was in the middle of texting you back    HTML BB Direct Link Share
demotivational
How I met your mother
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funny
OH YOU WANT ME TO PAY TEN DOLLARS TO DUMP ICE OVER MY HEAD AND 100 DOLLARS IF I DON'T? HOW ABOUT YOU PAY ME TEN DOLLARS TO DUMP ICE OVER MY HEAD AND 100 DOLLARS NOT TO KICK YOUR ASS
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funny
I'm a ginger and I don't have a soul!  I will also creep you out with my yellow teeth, freckles and bugged out eyes!
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ecards
i would like to apologize to anyone i haven't offended yet    HTML BB Direct Link Share
demotivational
Honey!! I got takeout
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funny
i like pudding
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funny
When I'm not busy creating chaos and being the villain,  I like to frolick in a meadow and smell all the flowers!
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funny
I dont remember this episode !!
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zombie
I ate people before it was cool    HTML BB Direct Link Share
insults
if I have not offended you Don't worry, i'm not done yet..
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ecards
the reason i swear so much is because fuck you    HTML BB Direct Link Share
weed
i smoke marijuana
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ecards
I don't sugar coat bitch, do I look like fucking Willy Wonka?    HTML BB Direct Link Share
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From the first time I saw you I knew I was going to have real and/or imaginary sex with you    HTML BB Direct Link Share
Memes
Screw Oxford Health I got my own office now!    HTML BB Direct Link Share
ecards
fuck me if I'm wrong but I think you wanna have sex with me
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insults
I will shit on everything you love
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ecards
i expect my pussy to be eaten
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insults
I saw your mom today. She was asleep on route 12
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insults
I love you but you have a tiny penis
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insults
The I don't give a fuck is strong in this one
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insults
Have I ever told you how much I hate you? Good
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insults
What if I told you Your mind is like a basketball in the winter?
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insults
I can nearly fit as many balls in my mouth as your girlfriend
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ecards
I didn't make it to the gym today
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I could never figure out why my eyes were bloodshot after sex
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I am so broke I am being sponsored by a kid in Africa
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Why did I unfriend you on facebook?
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