Did I Offend You? on tumblr

today's popular (5,275)

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Your inability to keep your legs closed...
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I love you more than Chinese restaurants love cats
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I hear you think your shit doesn't stink?
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Douchebag apocalypse    HTML BB Direct Link Share
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The only thing I plan to accomplish at work today is to turn a gallon of coffee into a gallon of piss    HTML BB Direct Link Share
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I don't need anger management classes, You need shut the fuck up classes
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I will enroll in anger management classes when you enroll in shut the fuck up classes
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Don't let people push you around. Unless you're in a wagon, 'cause that shit is fun.
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Roses are gay, violets are gayer, fuck this poeam, and listen to Slayer.
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Tact is for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic
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Sometimes I drink water to surprise my liver
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According to my notes you're still a dirty whore    HTML BB Direct Link Share
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I'm kind of a lady, but definitely more of a pervert    HTML BB Direct Link Share
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The best remedy for dry mouth is wet vagina    HTML BB Direct Link Share
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My girlfriend just caught me blow drying my penis
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When You At A BBQ At Magic Johnson's House And You See A Mosquito!!!!
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I'm not the kind of girl you can take home to your mother unless your mother is a drunk whore too    HTML BB Direct Link Share
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I look at people sometimes and think... Really? That's the sperm that won?    HTML BB Direct Link Share
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Real friends don't get offended when you insult them    HTML BB Direct Link Share
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You can only say WTF so many times a day    HTML BB Direct Link Share
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What did one tampon say to the other?    HTML BB Direct Link Share
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No officer, my speech isn't slurred. I'm just talking cursive    HTML BB Direct Link Share
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Everything happens for a reason    HTML BB Direct Link Share
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I was in the middle of texting you back    HTML BB Direct Link Share
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PMS
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kEEP CALM AND EBOLA
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I dont remember this episode !!
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Keep calm and don't get ebola
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This warm beer goes down like Michelle's cock
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IF YOU WANT YOUR EBOLA YOU CAN KEEP YOUR EBOLA
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Ummm, Nevermind. I
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OH SOMEONE FROM X-FACTOR KILLED HERSELF? WHO THE HELL WATCHES THAT CRAP?
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Guide to Gang Signs
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When I'm not busy creating chaos and being the villain,  I like to frolick in a meadow and smell all the flowers!
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CONGRATULATIONS YOU MAY NOW KISS YOUR COW
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DON'T LET THE SMILE FOOL YOU... I'M A BITCH AND SMELL LIKE SARDINES!
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