Did I Offend You? on tumblr

e-cards (311)    18

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I'm kind of a lady, but definitely more of a pervert    HTML BB Direct Link Share
I look at people sometimes and think... Really? That's the sperm that won?    HTML BB Direct Link Share
You can only say WTF so many times a day    HTML BB Direct Link Share
I hear you think your shit doesn't stink?
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Your inability to keep your legs closed...
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According to my notes you're still a dirty whore    HTML BB Direct Link Share
Everything happens for a reason    HTML BB Direct Link Share
I was in the middle of texting you back    HTML BB Direct Link Share
Douchebag apocalypse    HTML BB Direct Link Share
The only thing I plan to accomplish at work today is to turn a gallon of coffee into a gallon of piss    HTML BB Direct Link Share
My girlfriend just caught me blow drying my penis
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What did one tampon say to the other?    HTML BB Direct Link Share
No officer, my speech isn't slurred. I'm just talking cursive    HTML BB Direct Link Share
I'm not the kind of girl you can take home to your mother unless your mother is a drunk whore too    HTML BB Direct Link Share
The best remedy for dry mouth is wet vagina    HTML BB Direct Link Share
Real friends don't get offended when you insult them    HTML BB Direct Link Share
Sometimes I drink water to surprise my liver
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I will enroll in anger management classes when you enroll in shut the fuck up classes
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Roses are gay, violets are gayer, fuck this poeam, and listen to Slayer.
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I don't need anger management classes, You need shut the fuck up classes
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Tact is for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic
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I love you more than Chinese restaurants love cats
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Don't let people push you around. Unless you're in a wagon, 'cause that shit is fun.
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